Dear Santa Claus,
While I freely acknowledge that I thoroughly deserve a stocking full of coal this Christmas, as has been the case every year for more than three decades running, hear me out: guns are awesome. Also, I know where you live – seriously, the North Pole isn’t hard to find – so don’t make me come after you. Therefore, I hereby present a list of firearms-related Christmas presents I’d appreciate you leaving under my tree at zero dark thirty on 25 DEC 2022. When you infil the chimney, just watch out for my claymore Roomba; he’s a spicy little robot and if shrapnel shreds the mistletoe, my wife will be displeased.
Christmas @ TFB:
- TFBTV Mailroom #46: Christmas Special
- From The TFB Family To You – Merry Christmas And Season’s Greetings
- The 12th Day of TFB Christmas: Santa’s Big Bag of Ammunition
- POTD: Christmas Tree Protection Duty With CZ SP-01
The Rifle: an M1 Garand. I know, Saint Nick, it’s far from the freshest and most exciting new toy. Sure, there are plenty of other rifles not yet in my collection that would be more useful, but this is not a utilitarian play. This is pure nostalgia. My safe will not be complete until it contains one of the weapons General Patton extolled as “the greatest battle implement ever devised”. Particularly as a former Infantryman, I want to go to the range and hear that sweet metallic “PING” like my honored grunt forebears did decades ahead of me and my GWOT M4. This is a hole in my arsenal that simply needs to be filled.
One of US military history’s most iconic firearms, the venerable Garand. (public domain image)
The Handgun: a B&T USW-P. Contrary to my rifle pick, this one is very much a shiny new toy. I’ve been a big fan of more than a few of the high-end hardware options coming out of this top-shelf Swiss operation, but haven’t yet ponied up the cash to own a B&T gun of my own. This Christmas, that brand void needs to change and I think the new USW-P is the perfect candidate. Since TFB and TFBTV started getting hands-on with the pre-production models earlier this year, I’ve found myself being pulled inexorably aboard the hype train. While I own several modern, striker-fired handguns from other manufacturers, this pistol-only adaptation of the USW looks like it will likely be excellent and I think I need one. Any chance you could throw your holly jolly weight around and get me one early, before the anticipated 2023 release?
The USW-P is a looker and given B&T’s history, I’m virtually certain she’ll be a performer as well.
The Shotgun: a Beretta 1301 Tactical. Ok, to be fair, I slightly jumped the gun on this one and recently bought it for myself. But can you blame me? This scattergun is a beast! Ever since last year when I took a combat shotgun class with my pump 870, but tried out the instructor’s 1301, I knew I had to have one. This semi-auto 12-gauge has come to pretty solidly dominate the fighting shotgun category in recent years, and it’s not hard to see why. Its reliable and lightning-fast cycling action, excellent weight and balance characteristics, and the ever-expanding niche of customization options available make it a pleasure to own and shoot. I’ve decked mine out with parts from Magpul, GG&G, Esstac, Modlite, Aimpoint, and Blue Force Gear. Since I went ahead and made this an early present to myself, I can wrap it for you and leave it under the tree for Christmas morning. You can just burden your reindeer with plenty of Federal FliteControl buckshot for me, instead of the gun itself. Thanks, Babbo Natale!
We even went all thematic on the 1301 with the red and green shotgun shells! Make Christmas a *blast*…
The Suppressor: a Dead Air Wolverine. This vaunted can was designed specifically with Mikhail Kalashnikov’s prolific AK platform in mind, including an assortment of thread adapters for compatibility with a plethora of Combloc variants. Last year, many of us caught Zastava M90 fever after getting the chance to test one at TFB’s GunFest event, ahead of their importation. I was among the M90 enjoyers and purchased one as soon as possible once they arrived in the US from Serbia. It’s a blast to shoot and the only AK I own (come at me, commie gun-lovers, I’m an AR guy) and as such, I think it needs a special suppressor. My colleague, Austin, was eager to sing the praises of the Wolverine pairing with his M90 review, and he certainly knows what he’s talking about. I’d like to take his recommendation, with a Wolverine under my Christmas tree to serve as my dedicated AK can. Might even talk myself into finally relenting and expanding my AK collection into 7.62 territory, if I have the proper silencer for it. Hopefully, you’ll also cover the tax stamp, jolly old Дедa Мрaз?
Austin R. found that the M90 was an excellent host for the excellent Dead Air Wolverine. (Photo Credit: James Rose)
Thanks so much, Mr. Claus; I look forward to unwrapping all this excellent hardware later this month. And remember, no coal or I’ll don some arctic camo and come ambush you. While we’re at it, mind if I shoot for the stars? How about bringing back 1990s ammo prices? Getting HK to finally bring us a civilian MP7 version? Erasing the NFA, Hughes Amendment, etc.? Making all the Fudd RSOs out there lighten up about rapid firing on their ranges? Too good to be true, perhaps, but it would be the merriest of Christmases ever! Readers, what about you? What sort of gun goodies are you asking Santa for this year? Feel free to share your wish lists with us in the comments below. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and I’ll see you at the range!